
Laramie Wyoming, March 24—The transplanted heart just put into Dick Cheney’s body rejected the body within 90 minutes, according to doctors at Laramie General Hospital who preferred to remain anonymous.
According to undisclosed government sources, the autopsy showed that surgeons mistakenly transplanted the bleeding heart of a liberal who had been murdered by a staunch NRA member in neighboring Cheyenne.
“I can’t believe this,” said Elaine Johnson, wife of heart donor Randolph Johnson. ”How could they do this to my husband’s heart? I mean, even an Ebola Virus couldn’t survive in that man’s body, much less a truly functioning heart!
“This is one Dick who may have ripped off the U.S. and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, but he isn’t going to get away with this. I will be consulting a victim’s compensation attorney first thing Monday morning.”
[Note: this is satire] –Jeff Fox





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